Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
