If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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