would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
