Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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