i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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