yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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