i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
