let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
