My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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