Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
