Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
