I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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