I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
