i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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