those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Actions speak louder than pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
