Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
