My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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