He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
