hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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