at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
