Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
