I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
