I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
