I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
