the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize