We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
