don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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