I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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