I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
honey bunches of taint.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize