So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize