I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
