Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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