I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
