my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
