My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
