sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
