just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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