she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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