oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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