We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
