Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
