Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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