you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
