reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize