I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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