Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
