Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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