i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We named our party play list daddy issues
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
