do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
