yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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