Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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