Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
