Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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