i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
