I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
