does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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