he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
