Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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