You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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