I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize