Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
