Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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