What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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